[The assignment was to write a rhyming poem using Shakespearean insults and language.]
Shakespearean Insult Poem
Thou beef-witted, beetleheaded bugbear,
Thou canst not have her, she is so fair.
Nay, thou rough-hewn, dizzy-eyed, half-faced cloakbag of guts,
I am the swain for her, I shall wield mine sword and give thee cuts!
Fie, I am the better sword-fighter, thou art just a puny loser –
Thou beslubbering barnacle, thou shalt truly lose her.
Pish! Thou canst not fool me; I have seen thee in action.
But thou art cowardly, it is I with the true passion.
Hark! Here comes the lady…
Ye slimy dog-hearted louts! You darest yell in front of my door?
You are bumptious. And you are craven. And I… require more.