Category Archives: Shakespeare

On multi-tasking.

I’m going to the bathroom to read my sonnet.

On Jeremy Irons.

[Upon discovering some casting details for Batman vs. Superman…]

But Jeremy Irons was Henry IV – WHAT is he doing in a DC movie?

On posterity.

You know, Mum, it wouldn’t be too bad to die* because then I would go down in history as a hero who fought valiantly. Just like Coriolanus, but with more zombies and skeletons.

*In Minecraft.

On Hamlets.

Mum, Benedict Cumberbatch is officially my Number 2 Hamlet. He was quite good.

On stuffies.

Mum, you know what?

What’s up, kid?

I wish I had a Kenneth Branagh stuffed animal. You know, just to squeeze.

On new friends.

I made a new friend at camp today.

Oh, cool!

She’s from France. Which is lucky, really.

How so?

I’m very interested in the history of France, with a particular emphasis on the Battle of Agincourt.


Unfortunately, she didn’t seem to know much about that.

On an argument between two gentlemen.

[The assignment was to write a rhyming poem using Shakespearean insults and language.]

Shakespearean Insult Poem

Thou beef-witted, beetleheaded bugbear,
Thou canst not have her, she is so fair.

Nay, thou rough-hewn, dizzy-eyed, half-faced cloakbag of guts,
I am the swain for her, I shall wield mine sword and give thee cuts!

Fie, I am the better sword-fighter, thou art just a puny loser –
Thou beslubbering barnacle, thou shalt truly lose her.

Pish! Thou canst not fool me; I have seen thee in action.
But thou art cowardly, it is I with the true passion.

Hark! Here comes the lady…

Ye slimy dog-hearted louts! You darest yell in front of my door?
You are bumptious. And you are craven. And I… require more.

On strategies.

Sometimes I recite the St. Crispin’s Day speech under my breath while I work on Math problems because it helps me think.

On the humour of it.

Arrrrgh! I’m getting distracted by Shakespeare AGAIN!


On more things I may not be ready to deal with.

[We are watching Henry IV, Part 2. Hal and Ned are hanging around in towels at the bath house.]

Mum! They are not wearing any shirts!

That is true. It’s a bath house – there wouldn’t have been indoor plumbing in those days, so those types of places would have been quite useful.

I know that! But… they filmed the actors not wearing their shirts. I wonder if that embarrassed them?

Maybe. But they are actors in character, and this gives us a good glimpse into the time period.

Hal’s chest is really quite nice.

Said chest, at left.

On cowardice.

Jack Falstaff is a complete coward. It makes me wonder how he ever had the courage to rob anybody.

That is a good point.

But I suppose he only ever picked an easy mark. For example, he wouldn’t pick the King’s carriage – it would be too well defended.

On grand aspirations.

Mum. I wish my life was a Shakespeare play.

That’s interesting. How come?

Because then I could go to the theatre and watch my life from the very beginning. I hope I would be the hero, like Hal.

On a freakish memory.

[Allie is in the tub and I am leafing through the collected works of Shakespeare.]

I heard you laugh. Why were you laughing?

[I read aloud from Henry IV, Part I…]

“Were’t not for laughing, I should pity him.”


Do you remember what’s happening?

YES. Hal and Poins have just set upon Falstaff after the robbery in the woods.

On interpretation.

[We are watching Henry IV, Part 1. We are often pausing to discuss speeches that I find particularly beautiful, or are central to themes or plot.]

“Two stars keep not their motion in one sphere.” What do you think of that?

Well, the two stars are obviously Hal and Percy – and they can’t be close to each other without destroying themselves.