I’m going to the bathroom to read my sonnet.
Whither Earthlings
Allie in her own words.
Category Archives: Shakespeare
On Jeremy Irons.
[Upon discovering some casting details for Batman vs. Superman…]
But Jeremy Irons was Henry IV – WHAT is he doing in a DC movie?
On posterity.
You know, Mum, it wouldn’t be too bad to die* because then I would go down in history as a hero who fought valiantly. Just like Coriolanus, but with more zombies and skeletons.
*In Minecraft.
On Hamlets.
Mum, Benedict Cumberbatch is officially my Number 2 Hamlet. He was quite good.
On stuffies.
Mum, you know what?
What’s up, kid?
I wish I had a Kenneth Branagh stuffed animal. You know, just to squeeze.
On new friends.
I made a new friend at camp today.
Oh, cool!
She’s from France. Which is lucky, really.
How so?
I’m very interested in the history of France, with a particular emphasis on the Battle of Agincourt.
True.
Unfortunately, she didn’t seem to know much about that.
On an argument between two gentlemen.
[The assignment was to write a rhyming poem using Shakespearean insults and language.]
Shakespearean Insult Poem
Thou beef-witted, beetleheaded bugbear,
Thou canst not have her, she is so fair.
Nay, thou rough-hewn, dizzy-eyed, half-faced cloakbag of guts,
I am the swain for her, I shall wield mine sword and give thee cuts!
Fie, I am the better sword-fighter, thou art just a puny loser –
Thou beslubbering barnacle, thou shalt truly lose her.
Pish! Thou canst not fool me; I have seen thee in action.
But thou art cowardly, it is I with the true passion.
Hark! Here comes the lady…
Ye slimy dog-hearted louts! You darest yell in front of my door?
You are bumptious. And you are craven. And I… require more.
On strategies.
Sometimes I recite the St. Crispin’s Day speech under my breath while I work on Math problems because it helps me think.
On the humour of it.
Arrrrgh! I’m getting distracted by Shakespeare AGAIN!
On more things I may not be ready to deal with.
[We are watching Henry IV, Part 2. Hal and Ned are hanging around in towels at the bath house.]
Mum! They are not wearing any shirts!
That is true. It’s a bath house – there wouldn’t have been indoor plumbing in those days, so those types of places would have been quite useful.
I know that! But… they filmed the actors not wearing their shirts. I wonder if that embarrassed them?
Maybe. But they are actors in character, and this gives us a good glimpse into the time period.
Hal’s chest is really quite nice.
Said chest, at left.
On cowardice.
Jack Falstaff is a complete coward. It makes me wonder how he ever had the courage to rob anybody.
That is a good point.
But I suppose he only ever picked an easy mark. For example, he wouldn’t pick the King’s carriage – it would be too well defended.
On grand aspirations.
Mum. I wish my life was a Shakespeare play.
That’s interesting. How come?
Because then I could go to the theatre and watch my life from the very beginning. I hope I would be the hero, like Hal.
On a freakish memory.
[Allie is in the tub and I am leafing through the collected works of Shakespeare.]
I heard you laugh. Why were you laughing?
[I read aloud from Henry IV, Part I…]
“Were’t not for laughing, I should pity him.”
Ha!
Do you remember what’s happening?
YES. Hal and Poins have just set upon Falstaff after the robbery in the woods.
On interpretation.
[We are watching Henry IV, Part 1. We are often pausing to discuss speeches that I find particularly beautiful, or are central to themes or plot.]
“Two stars keep not their motion in one sphere.” What do you think of that?
Well, the two stars are obviously Hal and Percy – and they can’t be close to each other without destroying themselves.
Whither Earthlings 