Whither Earthlings

Ugh! I am feeling wholly dysfunctional today.

Hello, banana-friend. In spite of your exterior, you do not have a single blemish inside your skin.

And now, I am going to eat you.

This little dog has a lovely cyan collar.

Mum, can we talk about my sleepover at Gram’s this week sometime soon?

Yes!

I feel it is important to come to a consensus on a few points.

[I hand Allie a new mechanical pencil.]

Oh! Look at you, my little purple pencil… You are so pristine, so immaculate, so unsullied!

UGH, yes! Let’s go. For I need to get out of this pestilential place!

[I am joking around with Allie, conducting conversations based entirely in movie quotes.]

Mu-uuuuuum! Can you stop it with the allusions?

[I am feeling a little weird in the digestive system.] Hm. I nearly vomited just now.

Did you have bile?

Nope. Just some vomit right up in my throat.

I find that bile is often the precursor to vomit.

[Allie is doing an online spelling exercise that includes a talking cat who reads out the words for her to spell, often in context to indicate homonyms.]

Huh. I’m not sure this cat would be such a good conversationalist.

Oh, no?

Pretty much all his sentences are non sequiturs.

[Allie has climbed part-way up a large tree in the park.]

Hey Mum! I am wearing sandals today so I could take but a few tentative steps up this tree.

Sometimes my glasses are a great comfort to me. Not only is it more comfortable to have them when I am reading, when I put my hand up to my face and feel their smooth caress, it is very pleasant.

Wait! WUT? What was my penultimate point going to be? Arg! I forget!!!!!!!