Category Archives: Uncategorized

On Gilgamesh.

[Allie is about to begin her study of the Epic of Gilgamesh.]

So, kiddo – you get to read Gilamesh tomorrow!

Yeahhhhhh!

I mean, not the whole thing – it’s quite long.

Right. Obviously. IT IS AN EPIC, AFTER ALL. [Rolls eyes.]

On posterity.

You know, Mum, it wouldn’t be too bad to die* because then I would go down in history as a hero who fought valiantly. Just like Coriolanus, but with more zombies and skeletons.

*In Minecraft.

On opening lines.

Allie is apparently writing a novel. This is the opening line:

Once there was a Universe. A universe that abhorred superheroes.”

On information.

[Watching documentary on the origins of the universe]

I love it when they go over the data.

On genuinely spectacular eyerolls.

[We are leaving dance, and Allie is not pleased about it.]

Argggg I wish I could stay all night – now I have to wait until TOMORROW to go back.

That’s true, but you have modern to look forward to in the meantime.

Mum. You are aware, aren’t you, that just saying a word with particular emphasis doesn’t make my frustration any easier, or tomorrow arrive any faster. You cannot alter space-time with a mere word.

On water pressure.

[Allie is running through the new sprinkler.]

AHHHHH MY PELVIS!

On procrastination, of a sort.

Hey, Allie, are you getting ready to wrap up your independent work today?

Y-e-ssss, but just now I’m making a schematic for one of my inventions. In fact, I will be embroiled in this work all week, so you will need to remind me to switch over to school every so often.