Category Archives: the Universe and Everything

On the Wonders of the Solar System.

[Allie is watching Brian Cox’s The Wonders of the Solar System on her laptop and listening on her headphones.]

Oh, Saturn! You are my favourite planet.

[Time passes]

Dr. Cox, I really hope you put your sunscreen on. You are very pale to be walking about in the California desert without it.

[Time passes]

OH! MY! GOD! Sorry for the language, Mum! But it’s the BIRTH OF A STAR – I AM WATCHING THE BIRTH. OF. A. STAR.

On relativity.

[We are at the park. P is on the swings by herself – I am standing around, basically useless now that I only have to push once every minute or so.]

Mummy!

Yes?

You know how big a giant would seem to us?

Yes…

Well, that is how we must seem to a bird. And a bird would seem that big to an ant. And an ant would seem that big to a parasite. And a parasite would seem that big to a molecule. And a molecule would seem that big to a… NEUTRINO!

Hey, wait…

Yes?

Can you imagine how many neutrinos could pass through a giant at once without hitting even ONE of his atoms???

On starting school #2

[We are lying around reading at the end of the day.]

Mummy. Tomorrow I think we go to the Learning Commons.

Oh neat. That’s where they keep all the books!

ALL THE BOOKS?! [Beat] IN THE WORLD?!

Well, not all the books in the world.

But STILL – it’s a LOT OF BOOKS!

Yes, it certainly is. Are you planning to read all the books in the Learning Commons?

YES. In fact, I am planning to read all the books in the world.

[Beat]

Because then I WILL KNOW EVERYTHING.