Category Archives: Life

On mentally retracing one’s steps.

[It is bedtime. We are reading aloud, and suddenly Pascale sits bolt upright in bed.]

I have something to add to the gaping hole in what we were discussing.

On the power of visualization.

I am going to close my eyes and wait for a word to come. And when I see it, I will read it to you!

On insect robotics.

[Pascale is playing with a robotic bug. It skitters delightfully across the floor.]

Mummy! I am freaked out but also entertained! I can feel both things at once!

On insect calculus.

[Pascale is looking after the class gecko for March Break. She is fascinated.]

Mummy! She just LUNGED at a cricket! But it got away – it jumped in a HUGE parabola!

On rebuttals.

Mummy, can I have dinner in my room tonight?

We don’t usually do that, Bean, unless you’re so sick you can’t get out of bed.

Well, I am certainly sick – I actually came home early today.

Yes, but you’ve been working on projects happily for about 3 hours, with nary a complaint.¬†

That’s my point! I am very creative today and I do not think I should be interrupted.

Oh, really?

Honestly, it would be dangerous to stop.

On architecture.

Mummy, this is for you!

[Pascale proffers a relief tone-on-tone cut-out depiction of a residential street, complete with curtains, doorknobs and roofs in different colour combinations.]

Very interesting! Can you tell me about it?

Yes. These are the houses we pass on the way to school. You can see that some are bigger than others, and this one is, you know, Tudor-style.

On hilarious things I don’t want to hear repeatedly.

[We are making Pascale’s Valentine’s cards. The potato stamp I am holding escapes my hand and flies through the air, landing on (and ruining) one of the cards.]

Honestly, woman. And you call yourself a grown-up.

 

On truth & beauty.

I love Dad even more than you, Mum.

Ha – that’s interesting. Why is that?

Because he is … handsome.

 

On judgment.

[Pascale is playing with her dollhouse. She is holding the father and pacing him around.]

Why doesn’t he like the mum?

Because she makes bad choices every day.

On improvements #2.

Also, my car will have very small but very strong vacuum cleaners under each seat. You will flip a switch and they will clean the floors with their suction, which will be strong since it will be powered by the sun. [Looks up and makes hilarious suction sound]

Obviously, MY car will be very clean.

On improvements.

Mummy. When I make MY car, it will have windshield wipers everywhere. On all the windows – both inside and out. Unlike this car…

[Pause]

Which totally overlooks the condensation-factor.

On vaccinations.

[We are at the doctor.]

What shots am I getting today?

[The doctor looks at her a little strangely.] Diphtheria, Tetanus and Pertussis in one shot, and then you need a Varicella booster Рwhich is Chicken Pox.

Oh good! Mummy got Chicken Pox last spring. [Gives me a knowing glance, turns back to the doctor] You know, from the kids who didn’t get vaccinated at my Montessori.

[A pause]

Can you believe there were SIX families who didn’t vaccinate? SIX! It’s a good thing I’m getting a booster today – it will protect the old people who are sick and the babies who are small.

Oh, and Mummy. Apparently she gets chicken pox over and over.

On being five #2.

Did you learn anything new at school today, kid?

Today I learned that five is better than four. Hee!

On turning five.

Can we get balloons today?

Sure!

Could we get two bunches? Because they should stand sentinel on either side of the door.

On trying new things.

Mummy. One time i licked a piece of cat food. You know, just to see.

It was revolting.