On the damn world wanting to grow my kid up too fast.

Mummy. They have sparkly necklaces here. Why do they have sparkly necklaces in the toy store?

Because other families might buy one for their kid.

Oh. But not us. Why not?

Do you know why women decorate themselves with necklaces?

Because they like them?

Yes – but also because biologically humans use decorations to attract mates. Are you biologically ready to attract a mate? 

[Looks horrified!] Oh, no! I am too small.

That is why we will leave that stuff till later.

When I am big. [Looks relieved, as, frankly, do I.]


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